Onward

"Good Times" by Susie Suh  

(from the album, "The Bakman Tapes" 2011)

This song is truly a wise social commentary, woven into the craft of song--

one of my favorites.

* * *

Onward to 2013 with hope, dignity, and diligence...and a little bit of luck.

Susie Suh | Winter

I couldn't wait for the seasons to change from autumn to winter because I (have for so long) wanted to post the lyrics to this song by Susie Suh, which is from her new album, The Bakman Tapes.  The song is earthy magical--even grounding and whimsical--in mood.  But I couldn't find a live performance of this song on YouTube.  Otherwise, there may have been a video accompaniment to the lyrical content in this post.

Disclaimer: I've typed out the lyrics myself while listening to the song, so all lyrical errors are of my own doing.

Winter by Susie Suh 

Oh, winter

We are falling...

We are hiding...

We are hibernating.

In the depths of the wake

And the depths of the dark

In the depths of the wake

In the depths of our dreams

And so it seems that winter

Comforts me.

With the calm inside the eye of the storm

As we sit by the fire and watch the embers burn.

Ooh, can you feel the warmth inside our cave

As we drink our wine and forget about our days?

Winter on my knees...

Winter begging please...

Winter, I will say,

Snow again today?

So that we can hibernate.

Oh, winter

While the bears sleep...

And the owls hoot...

And the wolves cry.

And the dogs bark out

And the birds sing loud

I will say,
What a glorious day

For us to hideaway.

It’s the silence inside the colors of the room

As we sit by the fire and watch the embers burn.

Ooh, can you feel the peace inside our cave

As we drink our chamomile and reminisce about those days.

Winter on my...knees...

Winter begging please...

Winter I will say,

Snow again today?

So that we can hibernate.

Oh, winter comforts me.

Winter on my knees...

Winter, begging please...

Winter I will say,

Snow again today?

So that we can hibernate.

Wild Horses | Susie Suh

Susie Suh's cover of the Rolling Stones' "Wild Horses" is understated and thoughtful.  The autumn/winter ambiance of the video is charming--as well as the fact that she is on a Parisian street corner singing.  A soothing song to listen to while sipping some strong coffee...or alternately, a mild cup of hot tea.

Lessons

I am supposed to be working on editing, but editing takes up so much brain power and time.  Okay, the truth is that I am procrastinating...going on 4.5 years now, and would rather be putting my time and energy into this post at this very moment.  My writing began 4.5 years ago as a disjointed exercise in intellectual Olympics (or rather, I was mimicking intellectual thought), and omitted any inkling of personal connection or overt emotion.  My words were simply metaphors and analogies, with no grounding in reality.  Stream-of-consciousness writing is acceptable for poetry and works of fiction, but not for a graduate-level thesis.  I was covertly hiding behind my writing, scared of what the process would bring out in me.  Specifically, I was fearful of vulnerability, the painful process of connecting to my writing within the academic realm.  Now I know this, nearly half a decade later. 

This lesson was not fully realized until this past week, during a conversation with my husband.  I learned that it has taken me 4.5 years to personally identify with my writing, which began during a time of personal, intellectual, and emotional upheaval: a time saturated by a paradigm shift; a transitional phase.  During those years, I have questioned my ability to write and think critically.  That lingering, self-imposed incompetency had taken a toll on my self-esteem and productivity--"foggy-mindedness" and "like pulling teeth" are phrases that most closely describe how writing felt like during that intellectually uncreative time period, which I earnestly hope is nearing its end.  Writing from the heart and feeling the weight of my words, rather than writing from the head, is what I need to do in order to relieve the mental fogginess and finish my written work.

Perhaps the most important lesson learned is that I now accept that life happens; life cannot be ignored or set aside in the name of obtaining a higher degree.  I've followed my gut instincts all the while, especially in the last 12 months or so--and do not regret any aspect of it, although to the outside world I may appear to be slacking off.  Following my instincts led me to, among other things, opening my Etsy shop, starting this blog, and meeting some wonderfully supportive people along the way.  This past year has been an amazing, albeit unstructured, journey.

P.S. Happy 8 months to my love and I; a short time period when considering the 4 years and counting.

Quiet | Susie Suh

I've been doing a lot of contemplating lately, nothing new, but there's a depth to this one that reminds me that I'm getting a wee bit older.   This thought process that I'm going through has been eased along by Susie Suh's EP, "The Bakman Tapes, Pt.2."  The EP contains a mere three songs, but oh, how those songs are like hot tea to my soul cannot be expressed in concrete words.  It's an emotion, like a calm wave passing by...minutes of not having to think at all.  I'm all for thinking, I encourage it--for it is important for us all to be critical thinkers and question the status quo, but sometimes the mere act of thinking can be so mentally and physically exhausting.  Especially for those (like me) who think all the time...about everything: no matter how important, trivial, and in-between the two poles.  This is a humbling, transitional moment.   

So quiet I will be for a little while, for this is the time to gather my thoughts and just be.