Breadth of Life

Have you ever spent some time looking at the world from a perspective not your own?  Last week, I did just that.  Took my trusty camera outdoors, and without seeing the image preview--with my arms at awkward angles--took a photo of a yellow daisy from the bottom up.

From a different perspective, I obtain an entirely new vantage point, one that would have remained obscured had it not been for a change in thought, a reworking of a life's narrative.  A minute detail noticed brings with it a sweet significance and a calming sense of peace.  I won't use the ocean analogy here--but I will say this: Images jog memories and foster a semi-fleeting sense of clarity when it all seems so murky, allowing the present to carry on.  And carry on, we do.

New Inspirations

I think that this is the longest span of time that I have not blogged in awhile, but sometimes I find the greatest, soul-fulfilling inspiration away from my computer.  It's actually quite strange: for me, being online is just so loud at times, although there is no actual face-to-face contact--nor is there actual auditory noise.  Maybe it's the jumble of words, which tend to morph and mesh together into unintelligible phrases when I am staring at the computer screen for too long.  Or perhaps it's the countless acts of self-promotion, the endless waves of it, that I see everywhere online (something that independent brick and mortars don't overtly take part in).

Yes, I know that this blog is a semi-shameless act of self-promotion.  Need some substantiating evidence?  See below:

I created a pair of earrings for my mother-in-law from her vintage necklace chain, composed of long, golden scrolls.  I bent the scrolls (her idea), and added anodized, golden-colored niobium ear wires (a naturally-recurring metal that is great for sensitive ears) and peridot stones.  The finished product just glows, so I had to document it!

Last week, my husband and I visited our local brick and mortar bead/stone store: he graciously paid for the stones of my choosing.  The stones were a unique assortment of colors, shapes, textures, and sizes...

...chalcedony nuggets and ovals, pyrite-esque garnet pears, carnelian rondelles, garnet coins, a large (and flashy) labradorite focal stone, and a few oldies but goodies--smooth iolite nuggets and a citrine one, as well.

*****

 Last night, after a very stressful day, my husband took me out to dinner: which was preceded by a drive by an awe-inspiring and moody, vast body of water.

So all of this leads me to think: this past week, however stressful it was (or actually, how panic attack-invoking I willed it to be), was also punctuated with numerous moments of soul-stirring stillness and innate beauty--if I paused my self-imposed freak out mode, and just looked around (a natural act, but one that requires some level of levelheadedness to fully enjoy).  I am thankful that I did just that.

Wishing you all a thoughtful, calming day.

Reoccuring Thoughts

« I am fearful of never selling enough items in my shop to make up for the time spent learning and creating.
« If I create more collages, will they sell?
« Am I wasting time by not working a 9-to-5 job?
« How do I make a living off of my hobbies?
« I want to have a cause, where I'd donate a certain percentage from all sales to, but I--quite frankly--don't generate enough income from my shop to do so.  Makes me downright melancholy.
« I dislike marketing my shop/myself--I believe that the integrity and quality my work should speak for itself.
« What you put out there to the world will be returned back to you.

I obsessively ruminate over these thoughts, much like I do with every other imperious thought that permeates my mind.  I've found that only by reading, writing, and collage-making, do I truly lose that anxious edge.  A few books have consistently helped me through these cautious times.  I find that by reading a page, or even a passage, from these texts, my thoughts ease and all again is good.  Losing yourself for just a little while is a good read that you can identify with is rare, at least for me.  I love a lushly descriptive paragraph that makes you think critically beyond one's own microcosmic life, teaching us that there's a larger world out there that we're all connected to in some way, shape, or form.

I'm still trying to find my way in this world, and the meaning of my life.  Stumbling, yes.  But thinking, all the while.

« My books to live by:

Bone Black: Memories of Girlhood, by bell hooks

Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte, illustrated by Dame Darcy

The Writing Life, by Annie Dillard