Spirit

Does it feel like the holidays to you?  As in Christmas is in less than two weeks?  Not really, at least here.  I was tempted to title this post "Bah Humbug," but it was already taken by this smart lady, and her post pretty much summed up the not-so-festive holiday feeling that I am currently experiencing--I couldn't have said it any better.

So here I am listening to Jagged Little Pill instead of the contemplative jams of the more mellow singer-songwriter variety, and I am certainly feeling fine.  (Christmas music is not my forte, anyhow.)

I spent six hours yesterday doing holiday stuff, and to tell you the truth, it was fun--especially since I purchased the majority of the gifts that I didn't make myself in early autumn; most from online sources.  That way, I was able to ease into the holiday season, and still enjoy the peppermint hot cocoa without absentmindedly burning my tongue.

This easing into the holidays got me thinking: the holidays is beyond giving the "right" gift (or not), and is also more than just spending time with family.  The entire point of the holidays, perhaps, is to learn about yourself, such as your strengths and weaknesses; your consummate burnout level in a time of potentially high crises.  One's dogged aversion or warm embrace of the season of giving takes on a whole new meaning when put into this context.  Realizing what makes you uncomfortable--or comfortable--about the holidays, and how these categorizations can change circumstantially, reveals to you the you of the moment disguised as (the lack of) holiday spirit.

Feign enthusiasm, I cannot--and I will no longer punish myself for it.  Conversely, if I happen to break out into a holiday jig, I will not punish myself for it, either.