May 29, 2011

Reoccuring Thoughts

« I am fearful of never selling enough items in my shop to make up for the time spent learning and creating.
« If I create more collages, will they sell?
« Am I wasting time by not working a 9-to-5 job?
« How do I make a living off of my hobbies?
« I want to have a cause, where I'd donate a certain percentage from all sales to, but I--quite frankly--don't generate enough income from my shop to do so.  Makes me downright melancholy.
« I dislike marketing my shop/myself--I believe that the integrity and quality my work should speak for itself.
« What you put out there to the world will be returned back to you.

I obsessively ruminate over these thoughts, much like I do with every other imperious thought that permeates my mind.  I've found that only by reading, writing, and collage-making, do I truly lose that anxious edge.  A few books have consistently helped me through these cautious times.  I find that by reading a page, or even a passage, from these texts, my thoughts ease and all again is good.  Losing yourself for just a little while is a good read that you can identify with is rare, at least for me.  I love a lushly descriptive paragraph that makes you think critically beyond one's own microcosmic life, teaching us that there's a larger world out there that we're all connected to in some way, shape, or form.

I'm still trying to find my way in this world, and the meaning of my life.  Stumbling, yes.  But thinking, all the while.

« My books to live by:

Bone Black: Memories of Girlhood, by bell hooks

Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte, illustrated by Dame Darcy

The Writing Life, by Annie Dillard

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